My sister's blog

It's amazing how similar my sister and I are even though we are .... years apart. I ... because it is more than five and anything more than 5 doesn't need to be written.

Today she blogged about women using the restroom. More specifically, she blogged about how stupid women act when they poop in a public restroom. I have been wanting to blog about this same topic and today I will.

Stephanie and I work at the same organization, which happens to be a Christian university. I don't know if these women had fear and shame instilled in them as children when they were pooping. I once entered a three stall bathroom and waited for what felt like an eternity for one of the three women to give up on her dream of a private bowel movement and vacate her stall.

I swear that if I could find 3 used copies of "Every Poops" I would tape them to the wall of each of the bathrooms I most frequently use.

*Interrupt rant--Something is wrong with this "t" button. It is making an extremely loud popping noise and is difficult to use. I tried avoiding words with "t," but that's just impossible.

*Back to rant --If you have to poop, please poop. Don't wait until others have left. Just remember that sometimes a courtesy flush is appropriate.

Internal Arguments: I

The other day I was in Wal-mart with my two-year old daughter, Finleigh. We walked past the bubble bath and stopped to pick up some Mr. Bubble on the way to the super-convenient toddler microwavable lunches. Taking this route in the Old Forest Wal-mart made us go directly past the row of femine hygiene products. Good thing too since I forgot to put tampons on the shopping list.

So I'm standing there looking at the Tampax options and I wonder aloud, "What's the environmental impact of plastic applicators?" Hey -- I am all about reducing my carbon footprint. I then stood there for at least 5 minutes fighting with myself over whether I should buy plastic applicators or cardboard applicators which are flushable and biodegradable. It looked like it was cheaper to buy the plastic over the cardboard which further lead to internal distress. After closer inspection, I realized that I was getting ten more cardboard than plastic for $0.50 more. Internal conflict resolved.

BUT---you guys remember in AI when Haley Joel Osmund and the teddy bear get frozen in the helecopter? The aliens find them and use the hair that teddy took from Haley's "mother" and they clone her for a day. I'm convinced that one day aliens will visit Earth and it will be void of human life because we have depleted the natural resources. The aliens will then use the biological materials left on non-biodegradable feminine hygiene products to clone human females. That's gross.

I've decided that I took the time to set up this blog 2 years ago and it's time to revisit it. I hate wasting time.

So--autoschediasm (noun) is defined as something that is improvised or extemporized. Extemporized is defined (1 of 3) as to do or manage in a makeshift way. Take off the "m" and add "tic" and you make this noun an adjective. Adjectives are words that modify nouns. Do I need to define modify for you? Autoschediastic should pretty much tell you what you'll find in this blog.

Don't expect any real schedule of posting. To expect that means that you don't understand autoschediasm---even with my stellar definition.

Unexpected

Yesterday a great man died very unexpectedly. Jim Whorley, principal of Brookville High School (my high school) since 1994 passed away in what is being called a boating accident. I've heard that he was at Bugg's Island Lake duck hunting on the water when something caused the boat to capsize and he and another man drown.

I was never in trouble in high school, never saw the inside of the Principal's Office, and had little business (other than the more than occasional tardy slip) even being in the High School's Office, but Mr. Whorley knew my name. He knew my family and my activities and probably even what classes I was supposed to be in at what time. He was fair and supportive and never missed a sporting event. I don't know how he had time in the day to attend everything and still have a wife and children, but he never seemed to be in a hurry to leave.

Nick and I go to Bugg's Island many, many times a year as his grandparents have a small house near the water. It's hard to imagine with all the fun and good times we've had there that someone could die in that water. Especially someone I know.

It's very sad news for the Brookville community. I don't know if Mr. Whorley could be replaced with a principal of such quality and spirit.

Origination

So today, I found myself talking to my dogs--as one might do when at home 4 days in a row mostly alone. Cole (the doberman), took my seat. I looked at him and said, "move it or lose it, buddy." And then I wondered, what the heck? Where did that come from and what does it mean? "Move it or lose it." Lose what? "Move your meat, lose your seat" is directed at the person whose seat you took, but "move it or lose it" is for the person/dog that took your seat. Why? "move it or I will physically move you"?--as in the case with the dogs. Is it an empty threat when directed to a person? Where did this come from?

Any ideas?

Unsolicited

Here's a list of the people I work with at a Christian organization. How many Biblical names do you spot?

Kyle
Leslee
Harold
Ashley (x 3)
Korrine
Phillip
Jasmine
Zimiri
Bryan
Nathan
Aaron
Erik
Nicholas
Carla
Meredith
Eric
Laura
Donald (x 2)
Benjamin
Timothy
Kenneth (x 2)
Stephanie
Iain
Candace
Rebecca
Samual
Lauren
Paul

Are Biblical names better than modern names? I know several people that have named their children Noah recently. Can you do something cool with a Biblical name? Jasmine mentioned the other day that she has a neice named Nea Maya (get it? Nehimah). I like it. One of the Noah's I know is a girl. I like it.

What's your favorite Biblical name? How many Marys do you know?

Unpremediated

So my husband and I have been thinking of names. For future kids. Do normal couples do this? It's not like we're perusing baby name books or that anyone is pregnant or anything. Occasionally he'll look at me and ask if I like a certain name. Sometimes they are funny (i.e. Whorina Slutskya) and sometimes they have a certain normalcy (Eli Harper). Eli Harper --Eli as in Manning (right) and Harper as in Lee-- is probably the first name we settled on for one of these unconceived future children, but a friend named her daughter Harper Elise so that's out. We're not a sloppy seconds kind of couple here. Hence, while I love my husband's name (Nicholas Gray), there will be no Jr.s or IIs.

Recently, the hub is coming up with names that have an air of normalcy but somehow still seem a little ridiculous. Finnegan and Leopold. Don't I want a Leo, he asks. I don't know, do I? Whenever I think Leo, DeCaprio in Titanic comes to mind. You know that scene where the boat is starting to sink and he's running from one deck to the next through the water? I also think of my friend's cute little dog named Leonidas. I don't know if my son can have name similar to a friend's dog running through a sinking boat.

I can only come up with girl names. This week, I'm infatuated with Elle, Ellie, Elliot. Probably because I just bought some new Elle jeans that make my husband say, "Those pants look really good on you." Hey, I take the compliments I can get. Last week there was another name that I have already completely forgotten.

We are sure that we don't want our children to have names that everyone has. Examples: Amy, Sarah, Ashley, Rachel, etc. And I know more than one of each of those names and still love ya. I work with 3 Ashleys. On a team of 30 people, 3 Ashleys. That's one in ten for you math majors out there. That's a crazy popular name. I have never understood why people would name their kid what everyone else's kid is named. Except for the case of my sister. I just knew that if my kid sister was named Stephanie, she would be just as cool as my friend Sara's older sister Stephanie so I begged and begged. My parents seemed to like the name and I think it was a good theory, that has so far proven true.